I Can Take a 15 Second Shower

Erin I don't understand? What did I do? We even got to the point where I called you "EA" like some of your closest friends do. I didn't care that you were away traveling all over the country to every ESPN GameDay, as long as you shot me an occasional text to say hi.

Today I printed your story from Menshealth.com - Why Erin Andrews Loves Men Who Shower Quickly - and went to sit at a quiet bench in front of Lake Alice picking leaves off a bush. I wrote more than 100 text messages to you but deleted them all because I was at a loss for words.

EA you look at every athlete's face for a story. Well I'm your man. I'm your story. Every freckle on my face has a story (a reporter's gold mine of more than 1,000 stories). Call me your Pulitzer Prize - call me whatever you want.

In high school after a basketball game, I took a 15 second shower. And I was still sweating when I came out. If that is so attractive to you, how did I lose you?

You said nothing is sexier when a man lathers up with SPF. My Neutrogena moisturizer comes packed with SPF 15, and I never forget to spread it on my face before I get on my scooter for class. What happened to us?

"Laidback is sexy," you said. I knew the attraction was there when we met. You can't find a more laidback guy than me. My Menshealth.com project was due yesterday, and I'm so laidback I had no idea (1 on 1 basketball game to reduce the late grade penalty Professor Spiker... I'll spot you points?).

When I got your number for Gator Growl, you led me on and told me you were going to film a cameo. Then you took a knife and stabbed me in the heart, and you told me you're worried that ESPN would get upset if you supported the Gators. I let it slide, even though Chris Berman, Tom Jackson and Jesse Palmer all filmed cameos on the set of ESPN.

When I grew the courage to ask you to my fraternity's formal, you replied via text that you didn't think it was appropriate to go to a fraternity function. I really wasn't upset that you said no. I was happy that I actually got a response.

You looked beautiful in that flowing orange dress at Tebow's benefit dinner, and I've missed seeing you ever since. Fate brought us together, or maybe it was just UF...

Take me back EA?